Friday, November 2, 2012

Being Honest

I have so much to write and so little time to do it anymore. I find these ideas flowing in my head, dying to find paper and all the time wondering if I can even share them without back lash. So for now, I shall keep my words simple and one day share how I really feel. Today just isn't that day.

Working women try hard to find balance. I know that cause I live it. Truth be told, it isn't possible. Somethings got to give and it usually hurts. I've been at this full time work thing for over a year now and find each day a new question pops in my mind. Today it's "Surely there's a better way?"

Let's go back a bit. Okay, more than a bit. Say 22 years ago. I was newly married, working full time, trying to be a wife and an employee, pregnant with our first baby and one big fat mess.

Finally the husband say,"What do you want?!" Exasperated, I am sure.

"I just want to stay home!!"

"Then stay home already!" And that was the end of the working wife, soon to be momma.

I never skipped a beat. We had balance...most of the time. There were a few hard arguments here and there to make sure we STAYED balanced. I felt overworked with 4 children at times, but who doesn't when you're raising children. I also had my own pity parties  that God got invited to aaaand I would say, He gave me a good talkin' too, bringin' me back in balance oooh, once again.

T and I look to God's Word for the roles we pursue. I love being a wife and a momma as well as Love, LOVE being the teacher, encourager, mediocre cook, and all around Go to Girl for our children. He works hard, very hard in his job as well as manages our finances, maintenance of every sort from the yard to the car, Mr. Advice, and even cooks better than me. Not to mention he is there for his oh so needy wife. That in and of itself is BIG!  What we do works.

Or did.

Now, life as we live it today, well, that life...we're still workin' though the kinks. And let me just say, there's been plenty. PLeNtY!

T is now Mr. Carpool, Mr Errand Dad, Mr. Keep the House Clean for sale Man, Mr. Encourage the wife as she falls apart on me Husband, Mr. Cook, and all the rest he already did. Me, my role.. full time 5th grade teacher, wife and momma.

 I am tired. Awake at 5:45am, out the door at 6:45am. Students arrive at 8:05am and it doesn't stop until I leave at 4:00pm. Home and then the night begins. I am off to bed no later than 9:30pm to be able to do it all over again or cause I literally fall asleep! Now you have to know, I am a type B personality. Type B people get TIRED. We need less noise and activity. I can do type A well but to rejuvenate I can't go on, and on, and on without a break.

So what's the answer? I don't know just yet. God's plan is good and I know this is where I need to be today. But tomorrow...tomorrow is another day.  In the mean time I am understanding the challenges of working moms and growing in grace. Trying to wear three or four different hats isn't easy, quite honestly, impossible. Somethings got to give, question is.. what?

Reality Check:

So where are you? Working too much? Not quite sure what the next step is? Yeah, I can relate. Let's try seeking after God's best and nothing less. He'll show us what to do. And remember, your Right isn't gonna be my Right. That's the grace part.

Thanks for Listening,
Tina, aka
Tuna Jones

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